GARAGE!

heya!

i'm back again.. for the past month, i was hibernating. didn't want to go much but now I'm definitely back. MALL HOPPING. PARTYING. GYM.

I'm so proud of myself these days.. Been hitting the gym really hard. I seriously want to get 6 pack abs. 3 times a week.. Someone made a comment the past day saying I definitely lost weight. I don't have a 'matambok' na pwet anymore. LOL. My goal is to have a leaner figure before summer strikes, so I can show everyone my hard work. hehe


Finally had a copy of GARAGE MAGAZINE for the DEC/JAN 2011 issue. The mag was a little boring. JAKE CUENCA on the cover, but nothing special. I've been following the mag for almost a year now and seems that this month was really really flat. Hope next year will be a good one. There was this one page though that caught my attention.. TOPMAN TOP MY OUTFIT contest. T'was all about modeling your own TOPMAN wardrobe. I seriously want to join. FREAKIN' AWESOME! OF course, I'm expecting not to win but at least it will showcase my creativity. Problem is I'm not a model. I don't have a cam. LOSER! haha.. CONFIDENCE is what I NEED to establish!

Anyways, been thinking lately on getting a piercing on the upper part of my left ear. I think it will look good on me.. It's the pain I'm worried about. Well as i posted on my fb profile. I wanted to feel pain again. This time, physical pain.. as in throbbing pain. I asked several people who already has had their ears pierced. They said healing process takes about 1 month. They only sleep on one side making sure the pierced ear doesn't hit the sheets.. waah! hopefully at the end of year, I've made a decision already.



that's it for the day. Need to prep for work. Miss my buddies. MY PRECIOUS (meme and jennie) and other friends. I' ll make sure to party hard before the year ends.

Breakdown (ft. Krayzie Bone & Wish Bone)

Break break down....

Hiyah! (with high pitch!, same as what we normally do when we greet UK customers).

Been a long time, had plenty of time to post some new things but it was only today that i was inspired again to write. I'll probably more inspired if i have a lot of followers here.. I only know one. haha (MEMOT, I MISS YOU!)

Anyways, it has been 3 months now since the break up. Don't know if I can truly say I've moved on. Been hittin' the gym lately to divert my attention. 3 times a week man. Pushing the edge. I really have to lose weight. I guess it's working... I have been building muscles. I want to look HOTTER than BEFORE! LOL

I've bought my new ipod 4th generation 32 gb. WOOT WOOT! Miss my old ipod but my friend KARMA will find that thief... hahaha. All the songs, the effort i had to go through just to download the songs, spent endless days at coffee shops to save album artworks. But I'm very happy with new baby. I can play games, shoot vids and take snapshots whenever I want to.



I was downloading songs when I stumbled upon a song of MARIAH called BREAKDOWN. A breakup song, but the hell I care. I immediately added the lyrics to it and man I was so H-O-O-K-E-D. anyways, hope you enjoy it as well..







Break break down, steady breakin' me on down
Break break down, steady breakin' me on down
Break break down, steady breakin' me on down
Break break down, steady breakin' me on down

You called yesterday to basically say
That you care for me but that you're just not in love
Immediately I pretended to be feeling similarly
And led you to believe I was okay to just walk away from the
One thing that's unyielding and sacred to me

Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
AND I'M GOING TO EXTREMES, TO PROVE I"M FINE WITHOUT YOU
But in reality I'm slowly losing my mind
Underneath the guise of smile gradually I'm dying inside

FRIENDS ASK ME HOW I FEEL I LIE CONVINCINGLY
'Cause I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights and then I breakdown and cry

So what do you do when somebody you're so devoted to
Suddenly just stops loving you and it seems they haven't got a clue
Of the pain that rejection is putting you through
Do you cling to your pride and sing "I will survive"?
Do you lash out and say how dare you leave this way?
Do you hold in vain as they just slip away?

Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly losing my mind
Underneath the guise of smile gradually I'm dying inside

Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights and then I breakdown and cry

Break break down, steady breakin' me on down
Break break down, steady breakin' me on down
It'll break ya down, only if you let it
Everday crazy situation's rockin' my mind
Tryin' to break me down but I won't let it, forget it

I been feelin' like you breakin' me down
Kickin' me 'round, stressin' me out
I think I better go and get out and let me relieve some stress
Don't ever wanna feel no pain, hopin' for the sun but it looks like rain
Lord, I just will not maintain, yeah, often feel the pressures ya' all
But never the less crazy won't fall, it's over, it's endin' here

Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly losing my mind
Underneath the guise of smile gradually I'm dying inside

Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights and then I breakdown and cry

Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly losing my mind
Underneath the guise of smile gradually I'm dying inside

Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
Turn down all the lights and then I breakdown and cry

Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly losing my mind
Underneath the guise of smile gradually I'm dying inside

Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights and then I breakdown and cry




** waaah.. still workin' out on how i can upload the vid..

e-mo

Saturday, SEPT 18, 2010

I worked out in the gym for 4 hours. Like serious work out. Need to be in shape coz I'm getting chubbier again.

5pm - My teammate (SANDY) and I met at greenhills coz I was planning to buy a new beanie. It has been a long time now since my last trip at greenhills. I had fun eating CALIFORNIA MAKI at teriyaki boy with her. Window shopping was tiring and although I wasn't able to buy what I was there for, I still managed to buy a cool shirt, not to mention cheap (P350). Haggling is so much fun. haha


Later that night, I went to BACARDI's geb... STARGAZING @ PARLIAMENT BAR. It was cool, but I didn't really want to come. Was tired already and I was frustrated to see h** again.. Yes you heard me, 'FIRST' again. Of course, I was still aloof after every things that's happened to us. Some members were teasing me to approach h**. I didn't have the courage at that time to speak with h**.. But then deep in my mind, I wanted to. I don't know what for. I did ask a friend for help. My friend pulled h** out of the bar and we spoke outside while smoking. I said sorry, I asked if everything's OK. I didn't really expect him to speak with me. He must be angry with me after what I sent via sms. That's ok. Part of the 'moving on' process I guess.

I wanted to hug h**, but I can't.. Too bad for me.

But looking back on what happened, I just realized... I'm now proud to say.. I LOVED H**! The care is still there but love has drifted away..



I'm back to myself again. BORING. SNOB. ALOOF... LONELY BOY is at it again..
I'm no longer excited reading sms, browsing fb..

Now i'm focusing my attention to myself. Going to the gym, preparing for medicine (fingers crossed) etc.





**BTW, I just noticed that this blogsite is starting to become my diary.. haha. UMAY? then fuck off! ahaha. I'll update my site soon. hehe.

come on and party!

vaffanculo!

Woooo. My bday is finally over. I can't describe the emotions right now. Happy that I survived my bday. Sad because the bitter truth is I wasn't happy at all with my bday. Although yes, I've mentioned before that this was probably the highlight of my life, because this was the time I had my ups and lows.


Happy because I was able to spend time for myself, spend it with my family and spend it with some of my closest friends.

But I can't fight it anymore. I want to burst in tears, throw and break things. I'm a pretender.
I'm really not ok deep inside. I'm ANGRY. And yes your correct, this is the 2nd phase of 'THE 5 stages of grief'


I'd like to say sorry, I know I've been talking about 'FIRST' lately but plase understand, this is where I can really express what I'm feeling.



I'm mad because I fell into a trap.
Mad that I gave everything but he did nothing.
Mad that I've fallen for the wrong person.
Angry that I begged for love which I should have not done.
Upset that he didn't even care to listen.
Swallowed my pride just for 'FIRST' to love me back.

I HATE U! All those love, now has turned to hatred!

I don't care if you read this, we're already gone. You have made my life so miserable.
Because of you, I've now changed my perspective on some things


NOT ALL PEOPLE can be trusted!
Some will just take advantage of people
LIARS!

I have every right to say this. Be mad to me as well, hell I care.
At least I know that, everything I've said wasn't a lie.


I take it back...
I don't love u anymore! Let me reitirate that.


I HATE U!

Don't expect us to be friends anymore! I don't want to..

I may be drunk right now, but I'm still on the right state of mind.


I AM F***ING angry right now! Grrrr....


Let this be heard! I pity you. KARMA will eventually strike back!


On the other hand, thanks for those who remain loyal. Those who understand the pain I'm suffering now.
Thank you.


I'm seriously thinking of leaving bacardi because of what happened. Or changing my number. What the heck?